It's time to trust my instincts...and leap.

So, last Saturday I finally quit my job. I hit my breaking point.

When I went to work last Tuesday, all I wanted to do was quit. It was so sunny outside, and I didn't want to be in that dreadful restaurant. The urge to quit was so powerful - even though nothing terribly bad had happened. I talked to some of my co-workers about it, and they told me to cut back on hours, but to stay until June. I kept sneaking in the bathroom to call my therapist and my boyfriend, and they were both supportive of whatever I chose to do.

I called out on Wednesday, had someone work for me on Thursday, and was off on Friday.

Wednesday - I found a four leaf clover in the park.
Thursday - I found a magical park decorated with knitted pom poms and yarn.
And Friday I got a check in the mail from the V.A. which was $1000 more than I was expecting, and the urge to quit came back.

The thought of putting on my uniform made me feel gross. I thought about it all night, and emailed the Birces. Before I went to bed, I thought about asking the Universe/God for guidance - but then felt silly doing so, because, well, the urge was so powerful that I knew that I already knew the answer and to ask again would just be redundant...and possibly a slap in the face to whatever was giving me this feeling.

I feel asleep. Dreamed I quit.

And then I woke up. Was I going to get ready for work, or was I going to go in and quit. Again, I thought about the uniform, and how uncomfortable and gross the thought of putting it on made me feel.

So I put on a pretty orange dress instead and drove in to work early in order to quit!

I was worried that I would get nervous and maybe even scared, the closer I for to work...but...the closer I got...the more excited I got! I wanted to drive faster! Get it done and be free!

And I did. I got there, and talked to my manager - who was surprisingly nice and supportive.

Once it was all done I got in my car and cried - a good cry, and my heart felt so happy! I finally gave my heart exactly what it wanted and it was singing and jumping and crying with joy!

I got the exorcism card in archetypes class before spring break, so I told my teacher about quitting and how it tied in with the card. At the end of class she told me that quitting was probably the best thing I could have done, because I was happier and had more energy in class than I had had all semester.

And now I have time to do the things I actually care about. Now I have time to devote to theatre and art...and to enjoy the sunshine and to sort of get to know myself again. I know that sounds like a bit much - but when you've been at a job, for nearly 3 years at 5 days a week...a job that leaves you utterly lifeless and can turn the best day into the worst...where everyone yells at you...and is negative...it drains you. and makes it hard to focus.

I got (another) unexpected amount of money in the mail yesterday from the V.A. and I have enough to move out to Los Angeles in June. AND I am lucky enough to get to go with the person I love most in the whole wide world. I am so excited...and I feel so incredibly lucky. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, universe! I hope you know I am wildly and madly in love with you.

!!!


This song came to me after I quit:


I get to see Wicked this Friday!!! Yay