So Many! So much!

Wow - this past week has been pretty amazing. I have so much to do and I love all of it! Again though - I'm stumped with the question of where to begin. :)

Some fun things:

A film I got cast in a few years ago that never got made is being revived! I got to keep my part and we begin filming this Saturday! I met with one of the directors this past weekend to go over costume and character and the like. She is so so nice/and so so awesome. I made a frame that my character has, and I need to get all the clothes I'm wearing in order. Not to mention I need to keep working on the script and character.

AND ALSO on Saturday night - I will be performing once again with the lovely Orgasmic Rush of Lust at Bowtie. John called me last weekend and asked if I could step in for gender bender night as an emergency since someone dropped very last minute. SO I will be playing Rocky! (And my lovely boyfriend is Columbia). I bought most of the things I need costume wise today, but I still need to piece it together and possibly sew some things. I got some fun make up, too! I also need to watch the movie again and go over blocking.

I've also been practicing juggling a lot lately, and I'm getting really, really good! A few months ago Chip Bolcik, a voice over master, came to do some work shops with us. While there he filmed a faux comedic commercial for a product called Flacidux. Now he is coming back to help us finish our voice over demos AND to make another commercial! AND he asked me to be in it! It is circus themed! And I get to juggle! This is so exciting, and I am so happy he asked me. I'm also helping out with costumes. :)

AND there is a chance I may have booked a voice over gig for a website designing company looking for "tween" girl voices. I sent in a sample of mine and they emailed me back asking for my day rate...which doesn't necessarily mean yes, but I can't wait to here back from them!

AND AND AND on top of ALL these wonderful things - I still have a million things to do for showcase and a million things to do for school. But it is all doable! And they are all things I love.

I find it so funny that as soon as I let go of my other job - Olive Garden...let go of the fear and all the other things that held me there...things like this have started pouring in. It makes me even more confident in my decision.

OH AND ONE MORE LAST, BUT NOT LEAST THING:

Malorie and I made another video! Check it out!


We have some new ones in the works! Love!

La la

Wow- having so much free time on my hands is amazing! I finally have time to do all the things I want and love -

The only semi bad thing is:

I don't know where to begin!

Let's see -

I need to get more things together for the character Heather I am playing in a film - and contact the directors to see when they would like to meet this weekend.

I need to work on my archetypes file, due April 6th.

I need begin scoring and incorporating 4 to 6 archetypes into a monologue I am working on to present on Tuesday.

I need to make cards for The Wafflettes.

I need to make T shirts for our next video. (YOUTUBE.COM/USER/THEWAFFLETTES ! )

I need to work on my scene from Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf for Chekhov.

I need to work and also find a million monologues for showcase.

I need to work on my dead diva's project for theatre history (I'm doing Audrey Hepburn!)

I need/want to research a million things for things and ideas not related to classwork.

I need to find voice over material for tomorrow.


I'm sure I'm missing something here.

ALSO - I GOT THE BEST CARD IN ARCHETYPES CLASS TODAY (They are sort of like drawing Tarot Cards.)

I got The Visionary:

Shadow Attributes: Selling insights to the highest bidder. Compromising your vision to make it more acceptable.

Light Attributes: Capacity to envision what is not yet conceivable to others. Willingness to proclaim a vision without regard for personal gain.

I am so so so so so so so excited I drew this card. I have so many ideas for scripts and art pieces, and my mind is SO much clearer now that I'm not stressing out over salad and breadsticks and large parties at the Olive Garden anymore. I need to get these down on paper ASAP. I've always been told that I see things that others don't notice or differently from most folks (I'm sure everyone in the whole wide world thinks this of themselves.) And sometimes I feel extremely misunderstood AND/OR not represented as a person in many forms of media - ha, if that makes sense - like...film, or books.

Anyway. Ha - I don't know how else to elaborate. I just want to create the things I've been dreaming of, and have them speak to people. Feel the things I feel,sometimes...that everyone feels..I guess.

ANYWAYWE'LLSEE!

Also - Tomorrow I get to go see WICKED! YES.

aannnd now I'm off to put the above to do list in some sort of order and see what needs to be done most immediately.

LOVE

It's time to trust my instincts...and leap.

So, last Saturday I finally quit my job. I hit my breaking point.

When I went to work last Tuesday, all I wanted to do was quit. It was so sunny outside, and I didn't want to be in that dreadful restaurant. The urge to quit was so powerful - even though nothing terribly bad had happened. I talked to some of my co-workers about it, and they told me to cut back on hours, but to stay until June. I kept sneaking in the bathroom to call my therapist and my boyfriend, and they were both supportive of whatever I chose to do.

I called out on Wednesday, had someone work for me on Thursday, and was off on Friday.

Wednesday - I found a four leaf clover in the park.
Thursday - I found a magical park decorated with knitted pom poms and yarn.
And Friday I got a check in the mail from the V.A. which was $1000 more than I was expecting, and the urge to quit came back.

The thought of putting on my uniform made me feel gross. I thought about it all night, and emailed the Birces. Before I went to bed, I thought about asking the Universe/God for guidance - but then felt silly doing so, because, well, the urge was so powerful that I knew that I already knew the answer and to ask again would just be redundant...and possibly a slap in the face to whatever was giving me this feeling.

I feel asleep. Dreamed I quit.

And then I woke up. Was I going to get ready for work, or was I going to go in and quit. Again, I thought about the uniform, and how uncomfortable and gross the thought of putting it on made me feel.

So I put on a pretty orange dress instead and drove in to work early in order to quit!

I was worried that I would get nervous and maybe even scared, the closer I for to work...but...the closer I got...the more excited I got! I wanted to drive faster! Get it done and be free!

And I did. I got there, and talked to my manager - who was surprisingly nice and supportive.

Once it was all done I got in my car and cried - a good cry, and my heart felt so happy! I finally gave my heart exactly what it wanted and it was singing and jumping and crying with joy!

I got the exorcism card in archetypes class before spring break, so I told my teacher about quitting and how it tied in with the card. At the end of class she told me that quitting was probably the best thing I could have done, because I was happier and had more energy in class than I had had all semester.

And now I have time to do the things I actually care about. Now I have time to devote to theatre and art...and to enjoy the sunshine and to sort of get to know myself again. I know that sounds like a bit much - but when you've been at a job, for nearly 3 years at 5 days a week...a job that leaves you utterly lifeless and can turn the best day into the worst...where everyone yells at you...and is negative...it drains you. and makes it hard to focus.

I got (another) unexpected amount of money in the mail yesterday from the V.A. and I have enough to move out to Los Angeles in June. AND I am lucky enough to get to go with the person I love most in the whole wide world. I am so excited...and I feel so incredibly lucky. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, universe! I hope you know I am wildly and madly in love with you.

!!!


This song came to me after I quit:


I get to see Wicked this Friday!!! Yay

The Wafflettes take on the Westboro Baptist Church - or try to.

My friend Malorie and I have recently begun making videos. We are called The Wafflettes. When the Westboro Baptist Church came to town to protest at Holocaust Museums and High School about how much God Hates Everyone - we thought it would be a great first video! SEE:

Magic.

Today I went to another park and it was covered in knitted pom poms! I came to this park on a whim and had no idea it looked like this. It was so, so, so pretty and fun. I thought it fantastically awesome that I had decided to bring my own knitting with me today without knowing I would find this. Thanks Knitting Gang of RVA!

To learn more about Knitting Gangs (specifically Knitta,Please) look here and click on some of the birds. I will warn you that the home page is quit bright and flashes different colors very quickly - if you think this will give you a seizure or scare you then don't go! (It's crazy) <3!

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Today I found a four leaf clover in the park.

Dark Cabaret.

Earlier today I was meandering about online - just looking up random things - and I came across this amazing British comedy singing group with a satirical cabaret act that began in the '80's and still goes on today!

They are called Fascinating Aida. And they are fabulous.

SEE:

This kid is pretty bad ass.

Check out this adorably precocious ten year old step it up for gay rights.



...and I lost my temper and said, "Ma'am, with all due respect, you can go jump off a bridge."

I am in a relationship, and its complicated.

I am in a relationship, and it's complicated.

I am in a relationship with the Olive Garden on West Broad Street, and it is highly dysfunctional and sadly co-dependent.

If OG were a person, I would have gotten ride of them by now.

It drains me. OG is not my passion, but it takes up so much of my time.

I stay for the money. I'm like a whore getting fucked by a corporation.

I see people work 10 hours or more and not be given a break. Not a chance to sit down or to eat.

I have guests who take pride in making me feel below them.

I stay because it's safe.

Sometimes management can be so, so, SO nice. And for a moment, yes, we feel "like family." And it doesn't seem so bad. And I have fun with the guests...

but then days like today come, and I realize that the nice is like the kind of nice that comes after a husband beats up his wife and says oooh baby I'm so sorry, I never meant to, I love you. I just love you. And it entices you to stay. And you stay and your happiness and life dry up. Your passion leaves you. Your excitement leaves you, and you live for safety and the only thing giving you life is the drama of it all. Nothing else exists for you in life because, along with being dysfunctional and abusive, it is also very controlling. OG must be number one!

OG is stealing my dreams and robbing me of my youth!

and. I. STAY.

I keep telling myself - oh by June you'll have a vacation check and a degree, and then you can peace out. A little more than three months.

UGH.

My oh my wow oh wow.

Well, the time has come to hunker down and focus on reality again. It is March first, and I spent the entirety of last month living in La La Land daydreaming about acting, graduating, and moving to LA. (All as a result of spending the first week of February in LA...or...LA LA Land.) Now - a little day dreaming is healthy and fine, but I have literally wasted countless hours on LA Craigslist looking at apartments and jobs and the like. Which - I still maintain is NOT entirely a waste, but - I've really been neglecting the present with all of this future tripping.

It sort of reminds me of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. I feel as though I've been focusing on the top needs while neglecting the bottom and most basic.

I need to graduate.

I need to pay my bills.


I'm glad I allowed myself to future trip and daydream so ferociously this past month.

But I only have three months left here.

And I have so much to do. So much here and now that needs my attention and focus.

So - this is my goal for March.

Yes, I have a lot of goals. Yes I have a lot of cover letters that I am dying to send out to LA NOW. Yes, I have so many ideas and projects and dreams.

AND YES I HAVE A THEATRE HISTORY PAPER THAT NEEDS WRITING RIGHT NOW AND TWO MONOLOGUES THAT NEED WORKING BEFORE CLASS TOMORROW MORNING, SO PEACE YA'LL!

;)